Life, Job, n Stuff
12-20-2023
7:51pm
Feeling: eepy sleepy
Hello anyone actually reading this haha, welcome to my first blog post. When I coded my site I had intended for it to act as more of a public diary or journal but i just can’t keep up with that. either my life if so painfully boring that there’s nothing to write about or i’m so busy that I don’t have the time or headspace to sit and write! There’s no winning lmao.
But the year will be closing soon and gosh, thinking back on it now I can see that a lot actually happened- despite how stagnant I felt!
After graduating last winter, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do yet. So I ended up not really doing much- I drew and I hung out. Nothing all that interesting. I am proud thought how much art I was able to pump out those first few months after being in the HUGE creative rut during my last semester. I wish that momentum had stayed with me longer but! What can you do, c’est la vie.
The later half of this year is when things picked up. I did my first con in two years and did pretty decent ! i really miss doing those events and I wish I knew about more local events I could table at since I’m not really in a good place rn to travel for cons :(.
I have so much merch left over- old and new that I really need to sort through and list on my shop! The piles of set up things, boxes and merch have been haunting me… haha.
And for my last point.. after months of waiting and calling and interviewing and waiting… I finally got a real job! I’ve worked in the past, freelance, for the family business, etc.. but this is like the first Real Person job I’ve ever had! It’s exciting, I’ve only worked one day so far and as I write this I’m settling in bed to work early the next morning, It’s fun work doing stuff I really enjoy! I’m a baker! The hours are daunting but I think I’ll be able to stomach them (3am-11am)
As exciting as it is though, I’m still so scared lol. This is my first foray into real adulthood, after college adulthood.. Still I feel like a scared teen or some sort of alien. In a new and unfamiliar place with my under developed social skills and a distinct feeling that I don’t yet know and understand all that I’m expected to.. Hope I can shake this feeling soon.
A year since graduating, with all the changes and new responsibilities.. I still don’t know what I really want to do! I played with the idea for awhile of going to grad school for teaching and honestly I still think that’d be cool but everything I hear about the current climate of schools nowadays is kinda scary and Idk if I’m cut out for that. I think, honestly, all I want is simplicity. I want to make art and good food, I want to love my friends, I want an honest and fulfilling existence. But idk I don’t think that’s really possible- not in full at least.
Anyways, thanks to anyone who made it this far through my unfiltered, un-proofread thoughts. I love you for being here with me. See you next time- either in an appropriate amount of time I’ll show up with an update or next year I’ll dump everything all at once again.. We’ll see :)
Bye.
Grace
