Quit My Job! LOL
1-29-2024
8:09pm
Feeling: a lil hyper
Or rather I politely asked to for a different position.
Per my last blog post, evidently I was NOT able to stomach the 3am-9am hours. Well. I don’t think it was only the hours that did me in. While they were truly a contributing factor, it was also the workload, expectations, and gripping loneliness of it all that aided in my decision to transfer.
To start, I just don’t think such early hours agree with me. I would wake up feeling nauseous- sometimes I would even puke a lil before I headed out. I was told this would subside with time but after the month I lasted there, it never changed. And I always had this issue. Through college, staying up late to write a paper or waking early to finish a paper on the rare occasion it was due at noon, I always felt overwhelming nausea that made it difficult to focus. I’ve learned to power through it but it’s unpleasant and I’d really rather not.
Next, the workload and what I was expected to get done in a single day was way more than I could handle. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get as fast at all my little tasks as soon as they needed me to. (The time was now, they wanted me to be as fast as the baker who’s been there four year now.) It got to the point I was staying two to three hours over and not taking any breaks- it didn’t feel like I could take breaks lest I fall even further behind than I already was. I would leave bone tired, mentally and physically exhausted.
Though not the worst thing to deal with, the loneliness and isolation was for sure a scourge on my mental health. I would wake up alone, leave alone, and work alone. My coworkers came in about 6am but I would be so busy there was very little social aspect to the job. I very rarely interacted with customers as well. I’d go home, nap, eat, sleep, and doo it all again. My bedtime was often before my friends and partner got off work so there was no one to call with before bed like I’ve gotten so used to since my early years in college. The job upended my whole life- which I was expecting but- I guess I just couldn’t cope with such changes as well as I thought I could.
Anyways I don’t think a job should make me cry as often as it did. I don’t think I should be dreading going to work. People keep telling me "that's real life" but it doesn't have to be!!
But! It’s better now- at least I think it will be. I transferred to floral and I had my first training day today! The hours are later in the day and eventually I’ll be going part time- probably after valentines day as they said they really need the help with the holiday. That way I’ll be able to focus at least a little more of my time to art and taking commissions. Maybe find more time to code again- I’ve been feeling that itch but I don’t have any ideas to chip away at, ugh.
Also on another note… My birthday passed this month! MY family dinner for it was postponed due to.. stuff out of my control. But! I’m looking forward to good food, cake, and time with my family. :) I need too change my age on here too… I keep forgetting. But I’m 24 now, older and wiser (LOL) and slowly trying to be more of a real adult.
Til next time.
Grace ♡
